Learn to communicate because the assumptions are just over the top now. I’m writing this post late because weirdly even though I have an entire list about what I’ve learnt and I’m learning this year, it was hard to pick which one to post about today. None of them seem to fit, I can’t explain it but I couldn’t find a good fit until about an hour ago when I got into a mini misunderstanding which was solely based on assumption and we are currently talking through it. Something I’d have never done before.
Usually I wouldn’t have even made any effort to try to understand what the other party meant or why they said what they said. All I cared about it how i heard it, how it made me feel and I’d respond accordingly. I did mention in one of the posts recently that I had a temper didn’t I? So well before, I’d just hold all the anger in and let it brood within me. I’d avoid talking about it. To me, there was no need, once I heard what I did, that was it. I don’t need your side of the story or even if out of politeness I listened, I had already made up my mind. From last year through to this one I’m learning that communication solves a lot of problems. Like a whole lot. Learning to express yourself and also pay attention with intention to see reason really saves us from a lot of the arguments and fights we engage in. Scripture tell us to take heed how we hear what we hear. Sometimes the two parties may be speaking the same language, saying the same things but because we haven’t learnt to communicate properly we don’t even realize it.
Assumptions! Oh my assumptions! If you are anything like me and you like to assume for people, I’m pretty sure you’ve misread, misheard, mishandled a lot of situations. Before you give yourself a chance to assume something, just ask. Don’t let the thought even begin to cook in your mind because the devil will be right there to fuel that fire. Right from the beginning, in the garden, I always say if Eve had ran to God for clarification we’d all be feeling funky free in the garden right now but the devil planted a thought and she made assumptions and conclusions based on that thought and it got cooked up so bad that she didn’t even wait to engage the other party involved. She just got energized and made a decision based on that.
Strong relationships are built on the foundation of being able to talk about and talk through anything. The first rule of communication is that it has to be done. It’s uncomfortable sometimes, it stirs up emotions but it needs to be done. For me, the moment communication stops, the relationship dies. So let’s LEARN TO COMMUNICATE! Stop ASSUMING for people, stop the ‘but they should know it’s difficult or embarrassing to say, it’s irrelevant, it’s been too long to bring it up now’ sort of excuses. That’s my favourite ‘it’s been too long…’ but I’m learning that if the relationship is important to you, you’d swallow your pride and position yourself to hear and be heard, to understand and be understood and to deal with what ever it is properly. Until tomorrow, stay blessed