John 3:16 “For God so loved the world, that He GAVE His only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.
Love is not a feeling; it is an act of the will. You do not “fall” in love. You consciously choose to love someone, without thought for what you can get out of the relationship. I always tell my friends that I walk into love with my eyes wide opened, conscious of the decision I am making.
Love can’t be a feeling, love should exist regardless of how you ‘feel’ about the person at that particular time. My dad would say love cannot be a feeling, God is love however do we feel Him? Nope we feel His power but we don’t FEEL Him…. We KNOW Him.
Often there can be more genuine ‘love’ between platonic friends, or even between perfect strangers than there can be between two people who have been blinded by their hormones into thinking that they love someone, when what they really love are the thrills that the other person is giving them. Most of us have been bought by Hollywood and their idea of love and relationships… We have made this idea the standard. Honestly think about it, where did your whole idea about what a relationship should look like or what you should experience in it come from? ‘ It’s just a movie’ until you are sitting down in your office or in school on the 14th of February angry with your boyfriend for not ‘surprising’ you with a bouquet of flowers or a giant teddy bear. Where on earth could that idea be born from? Or how our minds have associated getting physical with an affirmation that you are in a relationship?
Hollywood is the biggest University in the world. More than 70% of the things we believe in or have built interest in came from the things we watch, hear or see from Hollywood
Why do we boldly proclaim we are believers, bought with a price yet we don’t fish out for God‘s definition and idea of what relationships are or the purpose for which He made them? We fill our minds and hearts with ideologies from the world contrary to what God says and we wonder why we fail at it and end up hurt.Fornication is probably the single greatest obstructions to true love, because it not only confuses the motive but it opens one’s self up to receive more than we bargain for. It ties our souls together and seals it as a covenant. That’s why God purposed sex for marriage and not any Tom, Dick and Harry. I will definitely put up a post on the dangers of fornication but all I can say is if God calls us to flee from it (1 Cor 6:18) I have no business questioning His reasons. God created us to have physical urges, desires, and needs. These are not wrong or bad, but when we yield to them and create a relationship solely around them, they can be destructive and hurtful.
Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. – 1 John 4:8
True love is received from God. God is love. It’s not what He has; it’s who He is. The only way to experience the purest form of love; love in its unadulterated state is to know God who happens to be the very definition of the word. As a believer, your partner cannot show you love in the manner it’s intended without having a relationship with God. It may look like it but it definitely isn’t it. Most often we are unable to tell the difference because our only idea of what love is doesn’t come from the Word of God so once it resembles the ‘love’ we’ve heard of or have been introduced to, we hold on to it. True love gives, expecting nothing in return. But lust wants out, lust takes and takes
Lust NEVER ends well, and that’s because it stems from a sinful heart. At the core of lust is selfishness, disrespect and a lack of self-control, none of which are valuable characteristics in God’s eyes. Lust is self-centered. It is all about placing your desires first, without giving a thought to the person that you are lusting after. Since lust doesn’t have its foundation on the Solid Rock (God) it flickers after it gets what it wants. This generally plays out differently for guys and females. Usually guys lust after the physical i.e. what they can see or touch, whereas for females it’s usually more inclined to an emotional need. You will notice that after each party receives what they think they wanted, they still crave for something more. The void that was supposed to be filled by the divine kind of love is still there and it takes a whole lot of mental and physical strength to hold unto the ‘relationship’. For us women especially, pride and embarassment does not allow us to admit that a mistake was made, hence, we tend to hold on for long that when we finally let go we are drained and damaged.
No one jumps into lust first. It usually begins with a desire for romantic love, sometimes even a small crush, but somehow we end up trapped. Some of it has to do with what we’ve been taught by the world through ‘entertainment’, books, and commercials amongst others. If we aren’t exposed to healthy, edifying love, we end up with a twisted view of love to a point where lust seems perfectly normal and acceptable. Lust is part of the material world attempting to satisfy one of the five senses. Lust’s sole aim is to satisfy the flesh. Love surpasses the material world and is solely focused on spiritual things. Love sees no fault, but needs. That’s not to say the faults don’t exist but love goes beyond the manifestations and sees the need behind the fault.
Love births purity, it births respect and SELF-CONTROL! Love reveals Gods character through us towards the next person. It is ‘other person focused’. We love because it’s our nature; we love not because of the other person. When you love someone, you will want the best for him or her. You will want to lift them toward Christ. You will want to build a bridge and not tear them down. When you love another person, you are not thinking of what you are going to get out of it but how God gets the glory.
For from him and through him and for him are all things. To him be the glory forever! Amen. –Romans 11:38
Love is not an emotion. It isn’t some warm fuzzy feeling that you get. Your ability to love is based on you, not anyone else. I love because of who I am. Your partner doesn’t have to EARN your love. If he/she did then what happens when you don’t feel like he/she has earned it. He/she doesn’t have to maintain it either. If I stop loving my husband, then that demonstrates a problem with me, not him. This is why we are called to base our relationship on someone more solid than feelings (God) because feelings would fail, my husband would not be the same man I met. My dad says marriage is a fusion. In fusions there is pounding, heat and moulding. It is not always pleasant but if you only hold on the bases of a knowing that God willed you two for each other for a specific purpose, you’d see the beauty and His Glory in the end.
My advice is as a believer, before you make a decision to enter into a relationship, make sure God defines your idea of love. No, not your version of what you think He meant or a modification of it. Lust and love mean the same to someone living outside of Gods word. Avail yourself to the Holy Spirit and let Him walk you through the truth of it. Until next time, stay blessed
Ephesians 5:8 For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light