“I really shouldn’t care about that!!!”
I said to myself as I picked up a white dress I was going to wear to my friend’s engagement. I did wear it 5 days prior to the engagement for another friend’s baby outdooring. I know my friends are getting married and having children and I’m just here single and screaming LARGE FRIES PLEASE almost every other day at a KFC drive through (hehe). It is well!! I promise you it is (lol). As I picked up the dress, a little voice said “but you wore this already this week, what if someone saw you again?” and funny enough another replied and said “who cares? You shouldn’t really care about that… you paid for the dress“. It felt like the moments in cartoons when the red demon sits on one shoulder and the angel on the other and they try to advice you (hehe). Anyway my encounter that morning with myself made me want to put this list together.
• Listen… *whispering* it is realllllyyyyyyy okay to repeat the same dress, shirt, bottoms in the same week or even the next day so far as it isn’t dirty, smelly or worn out! Maybe this is a message for just me but it used to worry me a whole lot, ‘what if someone saw me again and thinks it was the only shirt I have?’ Erm sweetheart, let them go right ahead and think that! It’s your outfit, and you have hands that wash or a washer so once it’s clean, you shouldn’t be scared to wear it as many times as you want. Like my dad would say people’s opinion of you doesn’t define you, it reveals them. It reveals their struggles, their insecurities and fears so honestly it’s a waste of time basing your confidence in what you do on what people will say.
• If you are buying an item you do not really have need for, should you really be buying it? I mean go ahead and splurge on yourself. Everyone needs a good spoiling from time to time but if you are purchasing it JUST because of the label or popularity then there is a problem. Let’s think about it, you are paying someone a lot of money to be a walking billboard so that they get richer and you get more broke. Maybe you haven’t thought about it like that but honestly!! And the sad part is that the moment the trend passes so does your feelings about the item. I love bags, if you catch me staring at you for a long time, you are most probably holding a bag I like or there is something stuck on your teeth, (lol) but it’s mostly bag related. I would really spend a lot on bags, my love for bags to be honest started from having a label and showing it off, I mean God forbid that I enter a place and I’m holding my bag in the wrong direction so no one could see what bag it was but I’m pleased to announce that phase is over. Yes I’d still pay a good amount of money for a quality bag which might probably have a popular label but as I speak, my most treasured and sheltered bag is a ‘no name’ bag I paid close to nothing for.
• It’s okay that you don’t have the iPhone 7, S7 or that you don’t have it YET! It’s okay that you don’t have any of the new gadgets yet. I mean if your phone is working just fine, why do you want to replace it ? It’s different if you want it because the software carries something that you need or you can make full use of, seriously you won’t die if you don’t get it. I was in an Apple Store recently purchasing something and to be honest (may my father never read this) I ask myself if it was really pressing to get it right that moment, but I felt a little pressured and I’m very ashamed of that (shame on you Jewie!!) but in the shop, which was first of all CROWDED because the iPhone 7 had just been released.. there was a conversation going on between these group of teenagers about how many extra chores they needed to do, and jobs they needed to pick up to be able to buy the iPhone 7 and how they HAD to have it. I was standing there amused but then it got sad, these boys said they HAD to have it and the question is did they?? Did the new iPhone make their lives anymore quality? Did they really need to fit in so bad that they are willing to throw away all summer plans and weekend plans to get it? And what got me really sad and scared was if teenage children in our generation we’re overly concerned about technology without having a pressing need of it, how much more my children in the next generation? They may buy in to the lie and get overly invested in gadgets they don’t need even before hit their teenage years
• let me let you in on another secret, if you are an insecure person or someone who lacks confidence…. you can be sitting in the latest Mercedes, Porsche or a Ferrari, you could be living in a million-dollar house, you could be married to the most good looking person or richest person on the planet and beyond, buying the most expensive things and trust me any matured and confident person can smell the insecurity from a mile away. Don’t fool yourself, it doesn’t cure your insecurity, it just makes you an insecure person in those positions or situations. Confidence is character established. It’s an assurance of being good enough as a person because of your standing with God, because of what He says about you! Confidence is in knowing that you are right where God would have you and building up your character from there. Confidence can’t be bought! I know your mind is fighting that but really? Think about how you feel when you own one of those things and no one notices or cares or that you walk into a room with all those powerful things listed above but everyone else has better? Would you still be ‘confident’ in yours? It’s good to own nice and quality things, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise but don’t let those things own you, don’t let your character and confidence be formed around them.
” It’s good to own nice and quality things, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise but don’t let those things own you”
• It’s really okay to not be in the middle of your life story like everyone around you. Seriously, we stress ourselves over a lot of things that we really shouldn’t. Okay so everyone but you is married or in a relationship, everyone but you has a good job, everyone but you has a car, everyone but you has been to *insert newest cool place*, everyone but you has everything you don’t! We are all running different races and are on different chapters of our lives. We are not the same person to be doing the same thing. Even twins don’t have that! They aren’t required to be at the same page at the same times. Please, please, please stop stressing yourself over these things. Trust me, at certain points in my life I’ve stressed over them and really? It only made me stressed, it didn’t do anything else, it didn’t magically put me on the same page as them. I remember finishing school and starting national service and thinking everybodyyyyyy is paid better than I was, everybody’s office had awesome dinner parties and fun trips and we were just there. Everybody was having it better than me obviously. Where I worked may not have given things, but it gave me beings! The quality of people I met in that place, I cannot thank God enough for! The memories made in that building are ones I may never forget. When I shifted my focus from what everybody had and on what I did have, I realized I also had very valuable things if not more. I am still not the highest paid person my age, (lol) not even close but I do know I’m super excited on Monday mornings on my way to work and super bummed at 5pm when I have to close unless I’m unwell or I have a program. I do know that I laugh myself to tears or a tummy ache at least twice a day. When that finally hit me I was like wait a minute, my life doesn’t suck after all (hehe). I may not be where society expects a 24 year old like me to be right now but I’m okay with it. Who writes the rules anyway? I have come to realize everyone has their unique story, if you focus on what you don’t have, you’d lose sight of the gems you do have and the gem that you are.
Don’t let things and people define how you feel about yourself, God took His precious time to create you and make you unique that it would be such a waste of the amazing person you are to want to fit in and be like someone or everyone else. It is expensive to impress or stay impressing others. It doesn’t just cost you time and money but cost you, your unique identity! The very uniqueness the world needs. The easiest thing to do in life is to stop impressing and living for people. Life becomes more exciting because you can be you and not have to apologize for it. The only person we should want to impress is God. He’s really the only one that matters but how do you impress someone who made you, who gave you everything, who knows you beyond you knowing yourself? Luckily for us, God doesn’t need us to impress Him. He is not looking for what you think you should be but what you are now so he can walk you to where He knows you ought to be.
If I hadn’t exhausted my post limit being such a talkative person, I would have shared more of these nuggets with you but I would definitely be picking this up again soon. I pray you were blessed by this as I was writing it. Until next time, stay blessed xoxo