I don’t know about you but I’ve always wondered…. when you are in a relationship as a Christian, how far is too far? I think low-key in our minds we know for sure that sex is out out out!!! If you are not married …sex is a no go zone for you! In case you didn’t know I mean just in case you didn’t know let me show you from the good ‘ol book we call the Bible!!
1 Thessalonians 4: 3 For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication:
1 Corinthians 6:18 FLEE (to run in haste) fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.
1 Corinthians 6:13 Meats for the belly, and the belly for meats: but God shall destroy both it and them. Now the body is not for FORNICATION, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body.
I’m not here today to talk about fornication though. People of today like to make it an uncomfortable topic and shy away from talking about it but if we are easily talking about prosperity, blessing and righteousness, we need to address fornication and adultery as well. I just needed to mention it just in case someone is clueless about the fact that God frowns on pre- marital sex and not only frowns on it but tells us to flee! If the Most High tells me to flee from something it must be deep! I’m not sticking around to ask why I’d just keep running. Anyway not today guys but definitely soon … today I want to focus on the other ‘harmless’ activities we engage in our relationships as Christians. So again I ask myself how far is too far??
This is a question I don’t have a straightforward answer to, I mean people will say where in the Bible does it clearly state not to kiss your boyfriend, or not let him fondle your body? Where in the Bible does it clearly say not to? I’ve had someone tell me plainly Jewie if you get a boyfriend and you aren’t planning on getting physical with him then do you really have a boyfriend? Wait a minute!!!!! The physical intimacy is what qualifies a relationship now????? Interesting!!! So you are in a relationship or single but hope to be in one in the future, how do you know how far is too far? Today I’m sharing 5 questions I’d ask myself to draw the line on how far to go…
1 Does God approve of this? Judging from the scriptures above I think I already know that God doesn’t approve of physical intimacy with someone you aren’t married to. And marriage is saying your vows before a registered man/woman of God and before the Father Himself and being joined together. If he did that one knee thing, you are not married and this applies to you! Anyway back to our topic so yeah I’d ask myself does God approve of us making out, touching and fondling each other? I think not! In 2 Timothy 2:22 ” it says Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart”. Flee also youthful lust! LUST! You wanting to get physical with someone you aren’t married to is you feeding your flesh! Quenching desires of your flesh or as we call it lust! So that’s my first question does God approve of it? The answer is absolutely not!
2 Does it bring glory to God? I know physical intimacy only brings glory to God in the context of marriage! No place else! Romans 11:36 For of him, and through him, and to him, are all things: to whom be glory forever. Amen. The end of a thing should bring glory to God. Glory means the standard of God: for all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, fallen short of His standard. I can assure you that two unmarried people exploring each other’s bodies is definitely not in Gods standard, definitely doesn’t bring Him glory and that’s what we are called as Christians to do, to show forth His glory in every situation, relationship included.
3 Can you do that act with your sibling? If you are like me, you probably have an ewww face at the thought of it (hehehe) but really if you can’t do what you are doing with your brother or sister then it’s too far! In Songs of Solomon 4:10 How fair is thy love, my sister, my spouse! how much better is thy love than wine! and the smell of thine ointments than all spices! It says my SISTER, my Spouse! You are supposed to regard your future spouse in all purity as you would your sibling. You are supposed to view him or her with the same level of purity you view your sibling. I didn’t say it, God did. Until you are joined in unity before the Lord, you aren’t allowed to view your future spouse any other way than a sister or brother! So ask yourself if I’m not comfortable doing this with my sibling, why am I comfortable doing it with him/her?
4 Can you do it in church and in front of your pastor? Before you exclaim, hear me out! Hahahaha but If you can’t then you shouldn’t be doing it at all. 1 Corinthians 3:16-17 KJV  Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?  If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is holy, which temple ye are. … your body is a ‘church’; a temple of God. And the Holy Spirit resides inside of you. The Lord Himself is inside of you! You will be ashamed or shy to engage in that activity in front of a servant of God but not God Himself??? Hmmm! If you can’t go that far with your partner in church in front of your pastor, then how are you comfortable doing it in His presence. Defiling His house, His temple!
5 Did your heart not smite you? Oh boy I love the King James Version of the Bible!! In ordinary terms, did the Holy Spirit not convict you? Before, during and after you two were together? If you are Christian with the Holy Spirit in you, trust me you hear His gentle voice questioning you if you should really be engaging in whatever it was you were doing? We snub Him, we suppress His voice! Any activity that has you suppressing his voice and tuning down or off His conviction is definitely too far
So there you go, these are my top 5 questions I’d ask myself if I were in a relationship. I mean it’s easy to say God said no sex and be on your way engaging in other things. We are called to be set apart! To be the light of this world how can we accomplish that if we look just like the world. If we copy what they do exactly, How can we overcome evil with good or as I like to say overcome evil with God, if we are just as evil or just as impure or just as dark as they are! By your own strength it is not easy to abstain from getting intimate with your partner, that’s why God calls us to lean on Him, on His strength, on His grace. You gain 5-10 mins or lets just say an hour of pleasure and lose days to months to years of not being at peace with yourself or of not hearing the Holy Spirit anymore because you shut Him up the few times He tried to remind you what’s right… is that really worth it? Let unbelievers tease you about your decision, let even other believers tell you you are overdoing this Christian thing but always remember we were made for His Glory not theirs. If you live in their standards, you’d miss God.
It’s not a walk in a park taking a decision to abstain from getting physical if you already have but grace abounds. Go to God and He will help you. If you haven’t, don’t be ‘too known’, confident in your flesh because it can and will fail you. Lean on Gods strength and Grace to keep you pure and to view your partner and relationship in all purity. It’s not easy but it’s definitely doable by His grace and absolutely worth it! Start renewing your mind on what God says about purity and relationships. Start feeding your mind on godly standards instead of taking them from the world. Just take it one day at a time.
Until next time, stay blessed!