A man of too many friends comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. – Proverbs 18:24
Everyone reading this can say they have a friend or are a friend to someone. But what does God say about friendship? Ever bothered to find out? How does God expect us to treat friends? How does God expect us to choose them? Why does He call us to have friends to begin with? By God’s grace and the leading of the Holy Spirit, we would have a grasp of God’s intention on friendship by the end of this series.
Friendship is an institution or relationship founded by God Himself. If God didn’t deem it as an important thing, that needs to have foundation in Him, He wouldn’t have spoken about it in His word. Friendship is therefore like any relationship made by God, a covenant and not just an agreement. What am I trying to say? Friendship as a believer isn’t about two people or a group of people deciding by themselves to become friends outside of God. God needs to hold it together; it needs to be by His definition and under His anointing. This is something that people need to understand. Friendship is a covenant that needs to be according to God’s will and definition. It needs to be by His standards, same way two Christians don’t randomly get up to marry; two people cannot just get up and agree to be friends. Yes, you can agree to be acquaintances or be friendly but to move deeper or a step further into friendship, it needs to be under God’s will and definition of who a friend is and what purpose a friend serves. I was afraid of how acquaintances who truly believe or assume are friends would feel about this series but the Word of God isn’t sent to cushion us all the time. Most times it’s sent to provoke thinking and a change. It’s brought to change our definitions to the way God intended for them to be defined.
Friendships like all other forms of human relationships can be amongst the most satisfying or the most frustrating relationships in our lives mostly depending on our knowledge on the subject. The world likes us to believe that common interest and similarities in personality or existing in the same environment is good enough to tag someone a friend. Those conditions are perfectly okay if it’s in the context of acquaintances, not when you want to take it a step further into friendship. We are in an era where every classmate, colleague, Facebook add-on, twitter follower becomes a ‘friend’ the moment we share some things in common. We give ‘randoms’ entryway into our lives without seeking God’s voice on it through His Word, then when we get ruined by it or corrupted by it we wonder why God watched it happen. Ermmm maybe…. Just maybe if you had asked Him, He would have told you not to get involved. As Christians however, we need to base our friendship on the solid rock, which is God. We look not unto a physical, emotional or mental bond but unto a spiritual one.
You need to be conscious in your choices of friends. It’s not a decision to be made without God or His word. Your friend defines you. Even the world has millions of quotes that depicts that your friends show your character, show your future, show your beliefs. Your friend like the other person in every other relationship affects you in someway. That’s why the Bible says bad company corrupts good character (1 Corinthians 15:33). The people you allow in your life have the power to make or break you. That’s why friendship should go beyond we were in the same class, school, workplace or we like the same music or movies. By all means, Be nice, be polite, be friendly but don’t be quick to give people access to all of you. Friendship is an institution; a relationship that should have God as the center that holds it and have bible principles coordinating and directing it. Most of us are in senseless and dead friendships on the bases that we’ve known each other for long or that our families know each other or that he/she helps cover my insecurities. Some of us too are in friendships that have literally done nothing positive for or to us. Its like we have seat fillers in our lives. Some of us have ‘friends’ who wish absolutely nothing good for you or they wish you good only when they are steps beyond where you are at. They only stay in our lives to have a front row view of any misfortune that may happen to you or to keep track of your progress so as to try and outdo you.
Since I just wanted to introduce the topic, I don’t want to go into much detail now. I’m drawing your attention to the fact that we as Christians have made the world define what friendship is to us, what purpose it holds, what it takes or demands from each party therefore choosing friends has become as casual as choosing what outfit to wear in the morning. We don’t pray about it, we don’t jump into God’s word about it. We don’t wait to hear God’s view on it. Once its pleasant to us we are good to go. You will never achieve the greatest extent of your spiritual capability without the help of these relationships God places around you. In order to benefit from these friendships you must open your heart and spirit to hear from God. I really pray by the end of this series we have our viewpoint on the divine concept of friendship corrected, we have the grace to make some changes to let people go and the wisdom to identify and make the right ones.
Until next time, stay blessed! Xoxo