Next time someone says this is their year of growth, I’m definitely not tapping into it (just kidding) But whoa these last 5 months have been a little crazy but amazing my goodness! I’ve learnt and I’m continuing to learn a lot! Today I’m bringing to you 15 things I’m learning and believe you should learn too:
1. Getting right to it, learn that love NEVER fails, never ever! God is love and He never fails. Don’t be drawn to believe that love fails because someone who was tasked to carry the very character of God failed at presenting it to you properly. Love didn’t fail you, the person did. You don’t give up on Jollof because unfortunately for you the first person or first people you had it from were Nigerians, no you wait, pray and hope that some Ghana girl papa bi would whip up some of the good stuff for you lol. Same with love, you don’t just write it off because your first few encounters with it was with someone or people who don’t know how to love the God way. Be it a guardian, sibling, friend, partner, spouse, teacher, pastor, church brethren. Don’t do it! I remember I almost gave up on French in junior high school because I had a teacher who sucked at teaching it, for some reason I stayed fighting and in high school I met another teacher who understood the concept of teaching and revived my love for learning the language. Don’t give up on loving people and being loved because you’ve encountered some people who didn’t know how to give or receive love.
2. Never stop learning about who you are in Christ and God’s purpose concerning you. Never stop trying to better yourself. Never stop trying to figure out what needs fixing with your life. Believe it or not everyone needs a little tweak here and there. For me I just learnt last weekend that I’m a ‘rejecter’ as my friend would say. I will willingly go out of my way for someone or do things for someone but I can’t receive it when people try to do same for me. I reject it! I won’t give anyone the opportunity to disappoint me so I don’t even expect any thing from people. Even down to the most basic thing like someone holding a door or offering to buy me water. Last month, I learnt that I was afraid to be extraordinary, in my head it called for too much attention so I’d try my very best to be basic. (*Do say a prayer for my dumb self *) Back to the point lol, yes! never stop asking God which parts of your heart or mind needs working on. Sometimes we have to lose things in order to grow. Losing doesn’t make you a weakling; it only means you have something more to learn. It gives you the opportunity to reassess yourself and to give room for improvement. Remember, there’s learning in every loss. You failed, okay! Pick yourself up, dust yourself and try it again! Sometimes, God permits certain things for our good, it’s the only way we’d see what we are made of.
3. Never stop acquiring knowledge! Never ever! Never rely on school alone for education. Never stop reading and researching about things. I’m not a big fan of school but I love learning! I know it’s weird I love learning about new things but simply dislike the manner our schools present it. Never stop wanting to know more. When something sparks your interest, go online to read about it, ask about it! Personally, I love to ease my curious mind so the moment something arises in me, I’d go seeking answers. It’s why my main Lover; HS and I get along so well because He’s always ready to teach and answer questions.
4. Learn to visit and forgive your past! I don’t think I can stress how important this is for your present and future self. Most of us are tailoring our lives in a certain manner based on something unresolved in our past. We have become something God didn’t intend for us to be and taking paths He doesn’t intend for us to take based on something holding us in our pasts. Yes, sometimes it’s scary to go back because you aren’t sure what it would do to you or how it would make you feel or alter your life but I can bet you, it won’t beat what you’d miss out on in the future because you choose to hold on. Some of us don’t even notice we have unresolved issues in our past because they are buried deep but there is no place the Holy Spirit can’t reach, open yourself up to Him and let Him dig out the icky wounds and heal you.
5. Learn that not everyone has the heart you do or would do for you the things you do for them. Not everyone was raised the way you were but regardless be kind, be patient, be gentle, be loving. In life, you’d meet a lot of different kinds of people who may not ‘deserve’ your love but love them anyway. Its the Christian thing to do! Christ wasn’t selective about who He was good to, He just left a trail of goodness everywhere He went.
6. Learn to communicate! I don’t think I can emphasize this enough either. Communication isn’t just blabbing but also seeking to hear out and understand the other person or people involved and have them understand you as well. it’s not just about being heard. You will never believe the amount of problems that would be solved and the amount of bridges that would be built in relationships of any kind if we learnt the simple act of communication. Strong relationships are built on the foundation of being able to talk about and talk through anything. The first rule of communication is that it has to be done. That’s why I really don’t understand that whole ‘silent treatment’ concept, you can ask my friends. For me, the moment communication stops, the relationship dies. I remember how my relationship with my dad was falling apart because I simply would not communicate anything to him. I’d assume he knew what was going on on his own. Yes, He’s blessed with discernment; the ability to read my state spiritually, emotions and sometimes I want to believe my mind (it sometimes feels like that) lol without voicing out anything, but it doesn’t mean He didn’t need me to communicate what was going on with me. It’s where our father-daughter bond is forged. God knows us through and through before we think a thing, He knows it but He still expects us to come communicate with Him to build and strengthen the relationship.
7. Learn to admit when you can’t do something alone and need help. Learn to seek help! Recently I was talking to a girl who told me she needed to see a counselor and truly that’s one of the bravest things to do for me. To admit that not only to yourself but another person, that you are broken is one of the bravest things for me to witness, I say this because it took me years to admit to myself and to people around me that I had a problem. I struggled so hard with it, I fought so hard with the Holy Spirit to simply just accept. I know how hard it is so anytime I see someone admit to themselves or surrender to the Holy Spirit for healing, it’s such an empowering and beautiful thing to witness. As much as it was a hard process, with the liberty I have now? I would do it over and over again if I had to.
8. Learn to see needs and not faults! It makes you more compassionate to people. When you see NEEDS, you see the reason behind what they did- you see the WHY and I bet you it’s easier to forgive and respond to that need. When you see FAULTS, you see the ‘WHAT’ and the only thing to do is condemn, judge and react. Learning about a person beyond what he/she puts out there makes it easier to understand why they do what they do and therefore makes it easier to forgive or reach out to help.
9. Learn that your journey is different! Everyone’s journey is different! You may not go the same route as the next person, may not be on the same page as the next person because you don’t have the same mission or destination as the next person. Yes, it’s easy to get tangled up in competition or in the belief that you should have something or be something like the next person but once you come to understand your journey was specifically tailored for you, you’d understand why things happen for you sooner or later than everyone else
10. Learn that today is always a good day to start something new or pick up something old you left along the way. Good day to start being the person God destined you to be, good day to start working towards the life you want to build in Christ. Good day to start working towards the body you want, good day to start working on the project you just can’t stop thinking about, good day to change you eating habits, sleeping habits. Today is always the perfect day to begin! Never wait for the perfect time and opportunity because It will never come; you have to create it. When you doubt, you lose the moment to become better. Stop making lame excuses. Yes, if you have to make an excuse, it’s probably lame! Remember, you will have enough time to achieve your goals if you get at it now!
11. Learn to not be average, to not be mediocre. We were fearfully and wonderfully made. We are exceptional beings made for exceptional things. We were not made to be basic so in everything you need to learn to be the best at it. Be the best child, the best parent, the best employee, the best friend, best sibling, the best partner. Never settle for being just okay or doing just fine! That’s a waste to the person we are. Constantly strive to deliver the best of yourself and ability. It doesn’t mean you’d be the greatest at everything all the time but aim for it; give everything your best shot.
12. Learn that there is power in words. Stop the negative talk or like a friend of mine would say ‘negativity should not be mentioned amongst you not even ONCE!’ Words are seeds and if you plant them they would grow so why not plant seeds of positivity. Seeds that build up and not tear down, seeds that promote the character of Christ to yourself and the another. Learn to counter with the word of God things you say to yourself or people say to you that are contrary to what God says.
13. Learn that the world through social media would try to steal your joy and your peace if you let it. There is so much pretense and false faces on the internet. There are too many fake things and moments that go on on social media that makes you feel smaller than you are. It’s a place where people will have you believe that they are doing better at life than you are and this takes me back to the point where you need to learn you have different journeys. Don’t compare yourself to anyone but who you were yesterday. Social media would suggest to you what to be but learn to lower the volume of the world and listen to the One who actually knows who you are, what you were made to do and the heights to reach. Don’t let social media ruin your self-esteem. Just because you don’t look like someone you think is attractive, doesn’t means you aren’t. Just because you don’t have what they have, doesn’t make what you have any less. Likes, retweets, shares, comments, reposts, favourites don’t define you. Be confident in who you are and remember that adulthood isn’t a popularity contest.
14. Learn to embrace being different. We were not made to blend in or fit in. We were made to stand out, be unique, be different! You shouldn’t be shy or ashamed because you do things differently from other people. If you’ve met me or seen my writings, you’d realize I’m different in some of things I believe in or in the manner I behave or speak. Before it would scare me when people say I’m different or look at me strange because I’m being different. I’m learning now that different is good, different means I’m not conforming to the standards the world is creating. If the world can see itself in you or can’t see the difference of Christ in you then there is a problem.
15. Learn to be grateful and appreciative of things and people and the gift of life. What you take for granted in life, you lose! You have it so good! Regardless of what stage or what page you are in life, always be grateful if not for anything else but for the mere fact that you are breathing, you have the gift of a new day; it is a chance to experience more to life. Never forget the people and situations that taught you great things in life. They play a big part in telling your story. Without these people and events, you’d have never been the person you are right now. Good or bad they helped you grow. The Bible says in ALL things give thanks. why? Because all things; the good, bad and ugly will indeed work out for your good once you are aligned to the Will of God and submitted to His love.
Stay blessed! xoxo